About Karl Stenske, MA, LMFT

Adoption Specialist | Attachment & Trauma Therapist | Adoptee

I’m Karl Stenske, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and adoption specialist with over 15 years of experience helping people find clarity, connection, and healing. My work is deeply informed by both professional training and lived experience—I’m not only a therapist, but also an adoptee.

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For most of my life, I didn’t think adoption had affected me much. I had a good upbringing and wasn’t actively searching for more. But during my first master’s program at age 37, I wrote a short paper on adoption that unexpectedly changed everything. I began to see how feelings of unworthiness, emotional disconnection, and years of relationship struggles were all rooted in early experiences of separation and identity loss. That insight reshaped my personal journey—and my professional path.

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I went on to earn a master’s degree in Adoption Studies and spent more than a decade as an Adoption Specialist, supporting adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth families. I’ve directed a foster and adoption agency, trained professionals, spoken nationally, and worked on legislative reform—including Montana House Bill 357, which restored adult adoptees’ access to their original birth records. Along the way, I recognized that many of the emotional struggles tied to adoption—grief, identity confusion, relational tension—also show up across the wider landscape of human experience.

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That realization led me to pursue a second master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, with the goal of helping individuals and couples heal at the root—not just the surface.

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Today, I work with people navigating a range of emotional and relational challenges, including:

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• Attachment wounds

• Trauma and complex grief

• Shame and low self-worth

• Anxiety, depression, and emotional overwhelm

• Relationship conflict and disconnection

A major focus of my work is helping couples who feel stuck in patterns of blame, withdrawal, or emotional distance. Drawing from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and other attachment-based models, I help partners identify the deeper needs and fears beneath their reactive cycles. The goal isn’t just to manage conflict—but to create emotional safety, rebuild trust, and reconnect on a deeper level.

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I also have a specialty in working with couples impacted by adoption. Whether one or both partners is adopted, they’ve adopted a child, or they’re considering adoption, I understand the unique relational dynamics that can emerge. Unspoken grief, loyalty conflicts, identity differences, and challenges around parenting or openness can all affect the couple bond. I offer a space where those experiences can be named, explored, and worked through—together.

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In all of my work, I draw from attachment theory, trauma-informed care, and modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and somatic awareness. I believe therapy should be a respectful, collaborative space where you feel understood—not pathologized—and where healing is both possible and real.

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Whether you're seeking deeper self-understanding, more connected relationships, or support on your adoption journey, I bring not only clinical experience, but personal insight and care to our work together.

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